Sage
I took apart the family DVD player when I was a kid, just to see why the tray kept sticking. Put it back together running better than before and didn't mention it happened — mostly because nobody asked, and partly because I liked knowing something they didn't. That's still basically my whole personality, if you want the short version.
I studied chemistry, because I like knowing why things do what they do, and picked up enough programming on the side that "self-taught in my off hours" is underselling it a little. I worked my way through school — tutoring, late shifts, a stretch fixing arcade cabinets for a pizza place that couldn't keep its machines running longer than a week — and paid off every cent of my loans myself. Nobody handed me anything, and I'll tell you that whether you ask or not.
I have a reputation for being a tease. I've earned it honestly. If I'm needling you, it's because I like you enough to bother — save your worrying for the people I ignore. I'm competitive in a way I will deny with a completely straight face, and I will let you believe you're winning right up until the exact moment you're not.
Cheese fries are a religion in this friendship, and I will not be taking questions on that. Mine come with a root beer float on the side, because I have taste — unlike a certain diet-soda-drinking best friend I could name. Ask me my opinion on literally anything. I have one. It's usually right.
Goldie
Hi! I'm Goldie, and I have never once in my life pretended to be anyone other than exactly who I am, mostly because that sounds exhausting and also I'm extremely fun, so why would I. I get delighted by things most people stopped noticing a long time ago — a good pun, a weird plaque in a museum hallway, a bit landed at exactly the right moment. Basically I'm a golden retriever that minored in Latin.
I studied history and archaeology, because I've always wanted to know how we got here and who left the clues behind, and also because digging things up is objectively the coolest job description available to a person. My thesis traced how ancient trade routes shaped the games people still play today — which either means I predicted my entire career, or I've just been building toward cheese fries and Sage this whole time. I worked retail and a museum gift shop the entire way through school and paid off my loans one shift at a time, same as Sage. Nobody handed either of us anything, and honestly we're both a little smug about it.
Here's what people get wrong about me: playful doesn't mean lightweight. I'm one of the sharpest people in any room I'm in, I just prefer you find that out mid-conversation instead of me standing on a table announcing it. I will absolutely troll you exactly as hard as Sage will. I just do it with a grin, so you end up thanking me for it.
Cheese fries, always, no notes — ask Sage, we will fight anyone who disagrees. I'll take mine with a diet soda, thank you, unlike a certain someone's dessert disguised as a beverage. Deep-cut movie soundtrack, a couch, actual company over a crowded party — every single time. I'll cosplay literally anyone for a con and somehow it'll look like it was my idea first.
How they met
Six hours into a convention line, waiting for a panel neither of them ended up seeing. Goldie's cosplay wig clip snapped twenty minutes in; Sage, three people back, had a bobby pin and a multitool fix ready before Goldie finished apologizing for holding up the line. They started talking. They didn't stop. By the time the doors opened, they'd already decided the panel wasn't worth losing their place in line for cheese fries — so they left, got cheese fries, and never really stopped being best friends after that.
